cult

June 10, 2017

1.
i was nailed to
your religion;

apparently desperation was a stronger drug
than love.
so you let me
fall too deep in-
to
my addiction to
the thought of everything
you couldn’t
recover from.

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a dedication to the wandering

June 9, 2017

you don’t realize
it, but you taught
me
that
heartbeats
can’t
express emotions,
love.
my heart may
have stopped for
you
long ago,
but don’t
mistake
my silence
for an eternal death to diamonds.
because of you, I’ve
come
to realize how
much prettier
crystals can be than
anything you
ever
did;

for nothing sacred is ever eternal.

death of a child

June 8, 2017

you told me
you would have married perfection if you could.
i saw
you would have cared for perfection if you could.
instead, you could only love
the acceptable
amidst the mess you created.
oh, but the beauty died
within her each
passing day
under the shadows of
your being–
deprived of the sun, of everything you didn’t have.
and yet you wonder
the obvious
why was
your mass of
imperfection
dead?

i swallowed
the syrup you fed into my system.
you told me you were always right.

my labyrinth

June 6, 2017

some fear the
prospects
of wandering
in the foreign
mess, tangle, chaos–
the lack of soundness
ringing too
loud-
ly–
, but the labyrinth of your mind
is everything
i wanted to be
trapped in.
can one ever be confined in something more beautiful than the very existence of being and consciousness from which you stem?
maybe the
growing
mass of
fallen
petals
will one day
tell.

the one (that got away)

June 5, 2017

now,
i surround myself
with
everything
irrelevant
dead roses,
plastic toys,
torn out books,
empty music–
because
its sight
gives me
purpose.
dominance may be a construct
, but so were you,
and you seemed like the
only part of
me that
was real.
i need purpose
because
even though we weren’t
real,
i can’t help but
think that the part
of me
that you took away
was.