carnivals

mirrored mirages of your phases from yesteryear
almost looked like my own reflection–
my dusty pinks washed away dreams of cotton candy and
you. you handed me dying flowers, and
i pretended it was the thought that counted (even though
the only thing you were counting were the days
we had left).
glitter on sidewalks still makes me nauseous.

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not (mine) yours

at 5 y/o,
i learnt that
no one belongs to anyone.
i tried to hug you in your
blue shirt;
i said i would call you mine
forever. but, you
still left
that little town we called
home.
when you left, you
looked back twice (no
more no less).

not hurting in
3,
2,
1.

memorial for dead nouns

June 30, 2017

home hands hello’s wholeness
eternity earls
entities i’s
involvement cries commitment
candids desire dances
dwelling gods gold gowns
reality roots tomorrow’s
touches tone tear tongue
teen(spirit) sound souls
songs scent cigarettes scintillation
nights nobody knowing
wakings
us

good bye’s

(un)consciousness

June 29, 2017

biting back at your broken pieces were the
beings that sought to survive off of the sins that sustained your sanity so long ago;
words can speak of eternity but no word will ever embody the
time it claims in its sleep

letters

June 27, 2017

i closed my eyes at the words unspoken because i know that if i open
them, i would never dare rest them again– back into the
depth of the cover you tried to feed into me.
so instead, i gazed deeper into the darkness of my eyes unopened,
comforted by the ignorance that i sought because not knowing
is the way to pretend that all knowing is good and all promises
are endless (like the late night texts that once came and overflowed like the water that is nearing the edge of the bathtub that i now surrounds me and
the remnants of the our summer from what seemed like a lifetime
ago). so baby, i will breathe from the space that we once shared in the
sacred sovereign source of all things safe in the sound security that i was told souls are supposed to seek.
do you see? do i
see?